Saturday, April 16, 2011

K is for Kelly

K is for Kelly, my first born. I fulfilled my dream of becoming a mother with his birth. I am very fortunate to have a unique relationship with each of my children. I don't love one better than the next. Although they have tried for years to make me pick favorites, they each have their special place in my heart. There is always that special place for your firstborn.

We discovered my pregnancy shortly after the death of my mother in law. It was a devastating time to lose your mom and become a father at the same time,so I didn't have a lot of support. My parents were happy about the baby, not so much with the father so that support line was missing as well. My Grandma Souza was there for me. She helped put all of those first time mommy fears out of my head. When Kelly was born, my life changed forever.

He was always a high energy boy. And he definitely kept me on my toes. He was always a loving child and always felt things deeply. When he was 4, my brother died. I learned a valuable lesson. Little kids may not understand, but the do feel and grieve. Uncle Michael and Kelly had this bond for music and dancing. Especially to the Michael Jackson tape of Bad! Sorry hon, your secret is out!

Through out school, Kelly gave me many sleepless nights. He wasn't the overachiever, but he had the heart to succeed. His senior year was amazing. Everything came so easy for him. He lettered in wrestling and was elected to Warrior council (a high school leadership group). He had a great time. I believe that this was also the year he went to every high school prom in the area...with a different girl! His tux was on permanent rental.

His senior year was momentous for many reasons. Right after he started, the World Trade Center was attacked. We were riveted to our televisions. I remember a conversation that I had with my sister that night. I told her it was the first time in my life that I was jealous of my siblings. When she asked why, it was because my sons were old enough to go to war. My nieces and nephews were all too young. That is when Kelly decided to join the military.

We also had one of those boo hoo mommy milestones. My baby was graduating from high school. I have been through so many of these milestones with my children, but that first time is always the most bittersweet. And then he moved out.

Kelly has always marched to his own drummer. He will never be accused of being a saint. But no one can say he didn't live his life to the fullest. He is the father of my oldest grandson. He has done a tour in Iraq (don't get me started on that one). He has bungee jumped, ridden in a helicopter, raced cars, taken too many chances, and given this mom way too many grey hairs.

But Kelly inspires me. I know that if I really need him, he will always be there for me. He inspires me to live life, not watch it pass by.

I love you!