F is for family

My Family in 2006

My computer was down, so I am a little behind on my A-Z challenge. Thursday's letter was F. Of course this is a no brainer...F is for family. Good or bad these are the people who are predominate in your life for ever more. And, like everyone else, I have both branches.

My Birth Family in 1981 or 1982

Take the bad, please! Ok bad joke. My birth family consisted of 7 of us. Mom, Dad, 3 girls and 2 boys. I am the oldest of the kids. Growing up, I was always closer to my brother Michael. We were 15 months apart and looked a lot alike. We were best friends growing up and even as adults. He died before his 25th birthday and it devastated me. But I used his death as a learning experience for my kids to not do drugs. It was a very successful way to turn a negative into a positive. As an adult, I became very close to my sister Jo, who was 5 years younger than I. As kids, we were at different stages so we weren't that close. Until she was diagnosed with Diabetes at 13 years of age. By this time I was living on my own, but always felt very protective of her. Our bond lasted until she died 3 1/2 months ago of heart failure. Another devastation.

Michael and I in 1982

Jo and I in 2006

My parents are still alive, as is 1 brother and 1 sister. I have no contact with any of them. That is the bad. Family is so important to me and it hurts beyond belief that I can't be close to them. And I don't even know why. This was not my choice. Over the years, I have tried to form positive bonds with my family, but without success. I have gone trough the 'what is wrong with me' stages. My middle son helped me deal with this struggle just 2 weeks ago. He told me that it wasn't me, they were just stupid. He has seen me struggle for a family relationship for so many years and told me that I needed to let it go. Thank you, son.

But the good, I have found so many cousins and Aunts and Uncles through my genealogy project. I have been working on a family reunion and trying to strengthen those bonds. There are so many people out there with whom I share blood. These are good people. People I was never given the opportunity to know as a child. I am getting to know them now. And it is good. It helps relieve the pain of being estranged from my birth family.

The best! My kids! I gave an insight to my daughter last week. I will introduce my children in detail as this challenge unfolds. They are my life. Was I the best mom? Probably not. But I can look in the mirror and say I did my best. They are all wonderful young adults and they always know I love them. And they love me back. I look at my kids and know that they will never feel the heartbreak of abandonment like I have with my own family. My family rocks!

My Kids 2007

Meeting New Family

I had the wonderful experience of meeting new family members. Doug and Patty are my 2nd cousins. Their father was my maternal Grandmother's brother.

Doug, myself, and Patty

Meeting them and learning about more of the family from them has renewed my search in this family line. I have been helping put together a reunion on my maternal Grandfather's side of the family. I still have more info to find on Grandma's side of the family.

Posing with Doug and Patty's family.

Researching family history is such a rewarding experience. I grew up most of my life not knowing any extended family. I wish that I had started this process many years ago. It would have been so much easier to get facts from the people who lived the stories. I use ancestry.com for my research. At this point, I have over 850 people on my family tree. I recommend that everyone take an interest in their personal family tree. It is amazing what you can learn about your family.

L to R Grandma, Mawka, Grandpa Doc, Uncle Bob

Front Uncle Del, Aunt Jean